Before I get into it, I just want to apologize for the sparsity of posts lately. It's been a hectic month, full of "job" and "I feel like crap" and "projects". As my schedule winds down, Ill get more posts out there. I know I have a few I published yet. Proof reading gets tough ......anyway, back to today's post.....FLOATS!!!.
When I was a kid, pool floats came it two shapes... rectangle, and a big round tube. Sure they came in a bunch of colors (big round tube only came in black), but they lacked pizzazz .
Welcome to the new millennium.. (get it...millennium) .. Nowadays you can kick back in a pool riding a handy dandy Stars wars pool float. How cool is that? O.K. I guess its not amazingly cool, but it sure beats a plain yellow rectangle.
Here's out top 4 Star Wars pool floats
4. Jar Jar Binks
Jar Jar shouldn't even be on this 4 list but I wanted to prove a point... HE'S DEAD LAST.. hes the worst of this 4list. Without being on this list you wouldn't even know he sucked!. He was awful in Episode 1 and hes an even worse pool float. If pool floats were movie characters, the Jar Jar Binks pool float would be the Jar Jar Binks of pool floats. If pool floats were candy, Jar Jar would be the circus peanuts of pool floats. He's awful, he sucks and I don't like him. I hope if you get this pool float, someone pops it. Maybe Ill come to your house, eat your food, poop in your sink and pop your Jar Jar Binks pool float.
3. Millennium Falcon
Even though it's the coolest ship around, it looks dumb as a pool float. Its just like an old tire. If you're in it, not on it, you have no choice to throw your arms over the side. This will give you armpit burn on a hot day. Trust me. I am very familiar with the tube like pool floats. Sure it looks kinda ok. but heed my warnings.. burnt rashey armpits are no laughing matter kids.
2. X-Wing
The X-wing was Luke's whip. It took down the first death star without even using its targeting computer!. Luke used the force and shit. That's pretty cool. As for pool floats, this ones almost as cool. Its pretty damn big, so that's a bonus, and it's got a water gun to shoot your little sister in her damn face with water. Next time she opens her bratty mouth to tell on you, squirt some water in there. She won't die or nothing, she'll just cough on some water and you'll laugh and laugh. Why? Because she shouldn't be a tattle tale.. that's why. Especially a tattle tale on a guy riding an X-wing pool float!
1. Landspeeder
Look how cool that landspeeder is. It looks exactly like a landspeeder. For that reason it gets #1 on this 4list. Plus its floating on water, like it floats above the ground on Tattooine. This is the closest you'll get if you're a kid cuz kids are usually broke since they don't have jobs.... so you can't buy a real landspeeder. If you're a spoiled rich kid, your dad will probably buy you a real-ish one but always use it instead of you, so you still lose. Be smart, just ask for this one. It will only cost like $22.99... unless you go to Walmart where it will be $22.97... that's right.. not $22.98... $22.97.. why .97? cuz its better than .99 AND .98.