* The following is an another edited writing sample submission. An abridged version was used as a sample for a media outlet. I have zero faith these will impress anyone so why waste the effort. The best part of owning your own site is that you can do whatever you want and write whatever you want! I do this for my own enjoyment, not corporate leashing. So..enjoy more content I’d probably never write otherwise! This one was fun and safe but still not me.

Some of the most unforgettable movies don’t actually exist. Every so often directors might toss a little “Inception” our way in the form of “a film-within-a-film”. Once in a while these films-within-films are so clever, so meta, or so bat$#!t bonkers that audiences wish they were real …or worse, want to see that movie over the one they're actually watching.

Whether they’re absurd parodies, fake blockbusters, or running gags, these fictional movies live rent-free in our imaginations never getting their glory days on the silver, er..4k screen. Here are four fake movies that truly deserve a green light treatment.

Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure: The Movie (Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, 1985)

At the end of Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure, Pee-Wee finally gets his (ahem) “Big Adventure” turned into a Hollywood movie and it’s mostly ridiculous. Reimagined as an action blockbuster, super spy “P.W.” is played by James Brolin in Pee-Wees signature grey suit and red bow tie, while Morgan Fairchild co-stars as Dottie. Arguably the best part is Pee-Wee’s voice-dubbed cameo as ‘Jerry Lewis channeling’ bellhop. “Paging Mr. Herman, Mr. Hernan you have a telephone call..”

Austinpussy (Austin Powers in Goldmember, 2002)

Much Like the ending of Big Adventure, the opening of Goldmember delivers one of the most epic fake movies never made: Austinpussy. The over-the-top action flick based on Austin Powers’ real life complete with A-list casting. Tom Cruise as Austin, Gwyneth Paltrow as Dixie Normous, Kevin Spacey as Dr. Evil, but best of all Danny DeVito as Mini Me. The production value on those few minutes alone may have given the actual movie a run for its money… And I would doubt for a second Cruise did that skydiving stunt himself

Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, 2001)

In a great meta cameo that only Matt Damon and Ben Affleck could pull off, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back briefly greenlights Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season. Already A movie about a movie (Bluntman and Chronic), this movie gets another film-within-a-film. An sick sequel where Hunting (Damon) is now a shotgun pumping vigilante. It has the same feel as Affleck’s recent string of meta Dunkin’ commercials.

“DunKINGS!”

Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money (Spaceballs, 1987)

Spaceballs remains one of Mel Brooks most iconic films. At the end of the original, Yogurt (Brooks) teases the line “..God willing we’ll all meet again in SpaceBalls 2, The Search for More Money”. Obviously a joke about Hollywood’s greed when it comes to sequels, only 11 seconds are devoted to this gag, but fans have been clamouring for this fictional follow up ever since. While there’s never been an official sequel, rumors have circulated for decades. The title alone is like minting gold, and in a world where Star Wars properties are released yearly, there’s never been a better time to bring back Lone Starr, (somehow)Barf, and Dark Helmet for another ludicrous adventure.

HONORABLE MENTION:

Threat Level Midnight (The Office, NBC, 2011)

Technically this movie was made and released. NBC released the full, 25-minute "Threat Level Midnight" movie, The Michael Scott film from "The Office", on its YouTube channel on December 10, 2019. A film-within-a-tvshow, it left fans only wanting to see a Threat Level Midnight 2, even-though it was never eluded to in the series. Still one of the top 10 best The Office episodes to ever air. Im glad we technically got the movie, instead of the gist of one. Kudo’s writers… Kudos.